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Hey there folks! How was Valentine's week?
But wait a minute (I hear you saying) - isn't it Valentine's Day, as in last week Wed?
Well yes, but I like to call it Valentine's week because that's how long all of those absent-minded or thoughtless boyfriends and hubbies have to make up for neglecting their Valentine's duty, before ending up in the "dog house" for at least 2 weeks :)
Some of you can probably relate to this scenario, either as the offender or the offended. But why does this happen? Why do some guys just not seem to get it... don't they care?
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We women get all excited about Feb 14th because of its romantic theme and the fact that it's one of maybe 4 or 5 days a year when we absolutely know that our spouse/partner will put in that extra effort to make us feel special and appreciated. That is, if they know what's good for them!
Recently I was discussing Valentine's plans with my husband Rick and sensed that he lacked even the meager enthusiasm that he usually musters up for my benefit.
I asked him about it and he said that he was preoccupied with lingering credit card bills from Xmas, along with doctor's visits, flu shots and high heating costs brought on by the extreme weather.
Given all of that, he just couldn't get excited about one day of romantic extravagance. Of course he knew better than to belabor the point, but he got me thinking.
Why do women get so worked up about being romantic on one single day that, when you really think about it, has nothing to do with their relationship specifically (like an anniversary) but is more of a generic observance?
To be honest, I think we women just love any excuse to celebrate, go out on the town and - of course - to buy stuff!
On the other hand, men seem to be always focused on bills that have to be paid and work that has to be finished rather than on celebrating with family. It's the whole Mars vs Venus thing again.
I thought about it a lot and found that both sides of the argument have merit.
Although celebrating with loved ones is important, so is making sure that your Xmas bills are paid off before summer vacation expenses and back-to-school shopping lists start weighing you down.
I mean, when we look at Valentine's Day honestly, it's really more of a show-and-tell for women than the expression of love that it's supposed to be.
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Think about it, why do so many of us prefer to leave our Valentine's trinkets on our desks - in full view - rather than putting them safely away in the parking garage?
Of course, so that everyone in the office can see that we have a spouse or partner who thinks about and appreciates us!
In fact, at the end of the day, any woman whose desk remains void of Valentine's gifts is looked on with pity and made to feel overlooked, lonely and uncared for - especially if she's single.
If she does happen to be spoken for, the absent-minded or cheap partner of this neglected soul will invoke her full fury - not so much because he didn't buy her anything - but because all of the other guys bought their women something!
And it doesn't end there. For the entire day, everywhere this poor woman turns will remind her of the romance that's missing from her life:
The office lobby, the tables at her favorite lunch-stop, office conversation, radio requests, online ads, stores lining the streets of her evening commute, neighbors and relatives calling or dropping by to show off what they got or where they'll be celebrating... it's a complete nightmare... no wonder we women get so crazy at Valentine's!
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There's a lesson here for both parties: don't bankrupt yourself for one day of indulgence... but if you want a sane woman, peaceful household and warm bed, it'd be wise to at least buy her a nice card and a box of chocolates - trust me.
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Happy belated Valentine's Day to all, and good luck to all the guys in the "dog house"!
Donna
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